Crisis in Electric Ladyland: A Report by the Committee for the Equal Distribution of Super Powers in Comic Books

COMMITTEE FOR THE EQUAL
DISTRIBUTION OF SUPER POWERS
1976 S. Isabella W. Cockrum Avenue, Suite 500
Washington, DC 20002

"CRISIS IN ELECTRIC LADYLAND"

July 11, 2011

To all whom this matter may concern:

It has come to the attention of the Committee for the Equal Distribution of Super Powers (CEDSP) that there are at present as many as ten (10) black characters in comic books and cartoons whose names, powers, or visible manifestations of power are related to electricity. Included in an initial report filed with the CEDSP in 2009 were the names of the following four (4) characters:

STORM

BLACK LIGHTNING

STATIC SHOCK

JAKEEM THUNDER

As an organization whose primary concern is the equal distribution of super powers, the CEDSP has drafted this 6-part notice to inform publishers that the quota for black characters with names and powers  directly or superficially related to electricity has been grossly exceeded. Please be advised that no additional characters beyond those presently in existence will be permitted.

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PART II. 
EXHIBITS A-D
 EXHIBIT A: STORM

EXHIBIT B: BLACK LIGHTNINGEXHIBIT C: STATIC SHOCKEXHIBIT D: JAKEEM THUNDER

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PART III. 
CLARIFICATIONS

In the interest of reaching a full and complete understanding with all concerned parties, we say again that the Committee for the Equal Distribution of Super Powers henceforth prohibits the creation of any new superheroes of African ancestry whose names, powers or visible manifestations of power have any relation (either loosely or literally) to the following:

e•lec•tri•ci•ty n 1. a fundamental form of kinetic potential energy created by the free or controlled movement of charged particles such as electrons, positrons and ions

juice n (slang) electric power

light•ning n flashes of light seen in the sky where there is a discharge of atmospheric electricity usually occurring during a thunderstorm.

shock n a sudden painful physical reaction consisting of nerve stimulation and muscle contraction caused by an electric current flowing through the body

stat•ic n a stationary electric charge that builds up on an insulated object, for example, on a capacitor or a thundercloud

storm n 1. a disturbance in the air above the earth with strong winds and usually with also rain, snow, sleet, or hail and sometimes lightning and thunder

thun•der n 1. a loud rumbling noise caused by the rapid expansion of air suddenly heated by lightning

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PART IV. 
ASSESSMENTS

It will hereby be observed that in our initial report it was noted that from 1975 (when the Marvel Comics superhero known as Storm was created) until the present time Marvel has consistently and ethically maintained a quota of one (1) black character with powers directly or superficially related to electricity. The members of the CEDSP applaud Marvel Comics for this achievement.

Conversely, however, DC Comics has grossly exceeded the quota and ignored ethical guidelines by having five (5) such characters in its comics. Even more... shocking, four (4) more characters of this type were created by affiliates of DC Comics for use in animated TV shows. Included in a secondary report filed with the CEDSP in 2010 were the names of these additional characters:

THUNDER

LIGHTNING

BLACK VULCAN

SOUL POWER

SPARKY

JUICE

Because the CEDSP believes it should shoulder at least some of the responsibility for failing to prevent the disproportionate distribution of names and super-powers directly or superficially related to electricity to as many as ten (10) different black characters in comics and cartoons, no penalties for the infractions cited above will be assessed.

Be advised, however, that harsh penalties will be levied henceforth and forthwith against any and all parties who knowingly and willingly or unknowingly and unwillingly conspire to create yet another superhero of African ancestry whose name or power is either directly or superficially related to electricity. After 35 years, this insidious practice must come to an end.

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PART V. 
EXHIBITS E-G
 EXHIBIT E: BLACK VULCAN, LIGHTNING, THUNDEREXHIBIT F: SPARKY, SOUL POWER, JUICEEXHIBIT G: JAKEEM THUNDER & THE GENIE "THUNDERBOLT"
 

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PART VI. 
CONCLUSION

Because the CEDSP also believes in working as an agent of positive change, members of the committee have determined that quotas for black characters with abilities derived from every other known power grouping have NOT yet been exceeded. These include: fire, ice, speed, intelligence, radioactivity, magic, martial arts, robotics, genetic mutation, mythology, alien ancestry, wealth and childhood trauma.

Please note, however, that though the quota for the speed grouping has not yet been exceeded, it should be avoided. Track & field statistics dating to as far back as 1936 have rendered powers from this grouping extremely unimaginative and cliché. Furthermore, the speed grouping can be superficially linked to electricity, as in: That Usain Bolt guy is as fast as lightning.

For private inquiries related to this extremely sensitive issue, please e-mail questions to the Committee for the Equal Distribution of Super Powers. For any concerned parties who are at the present time prepared to make public statements regarding this matter, please feel free to post a comment in the area designated below.


Thank you.

St. Paco
CEDSP Chairman

"Crisis in Electric Ladyland" © Paco D. Taylor 2011, originally published on the Your Kung Fu Sucks blog July 11, 2011 • Storm ™ & © Marvel Characters, Inc. • All DC Comics characters and the distinctive likeness(es) thereof are Trademarks & Copyright © DC Characters, Inc. • 

In memory of Dwayne McDuffie & Gene Colan